Sunday, January 3, 2010

Don't worry, I already made your New Year's Resolution

You now have had four (4) days to act upon what you promised you'd do upon swigging a healthful liquid at exactly the first minute of the New Year. I can guarantee that if you all were anything like your volumes of idiotic letters I received last year, none of you have even started anything. I'm advising you to forget the (likely boring and stupid) things you "resolved" to do and follow my advice. That is, if you value your health enough to ensure you'll be around next New Year.

This year is the year for edification through education and that can be done by memorizing and applying these true facts:

Tooth Health is Important Now



Unless you realistically think that you'll be able to teach your young children how to whittle you replacement wooden teeth every fortnight, you should first try preserving the ones you you hopefully still have. A retainer like the one show above stabilizes teeth while not in use and is a nearly perfect wax replica of your natural features.

Learn how to care for the baby you will be having



I believe that I can safely assume that your skills planning for the upcoming baby are akin to how you handled your New Years promise to yourself. Realistic dummies can be made or purchased to allow you to practice important babyminding techniques. They can be filled will gel or sand for added realism.

Head-lice should be taken seriously



The common louse has continued to evolve, and is now more resistant to death than ever. Developing a calculated scheme of parting the hair each morning to remove lice is an important task that should be worked into the morning routine of every business professional.

Please do take care of your bodies.
Despite common thought, they are expensive and difficult to mechanize, although new technology does make it possible.


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