Wednesday, June 24, 2009

The History of Dear Friends and Honest Work

The loveliest Mrs. Thoroughgood and I met at Shroeder P. Staatz Secondary School for Females, now located on the outskirts of Battle Creek. Back in those days, no one understood how to manage adolescents with extraordinary intelligence and reasoning, so we both were thus held back on many occasions. We too, and perhaps not understanding our intelligence ourselves, often feigned, sometimes unconsciously, academic ineptitude. We graduated aged 25 and 27, respectively, and were far wiser than our tender years. Upon graduating, Mrs. Thoroughgood had already invented, patented, marketed, and sold her first two health cereals, WickerWheat Squares and Neuro-Nutri Milk Fat Muesli. I graduated with eight years of independent research concerning diseases of women and convalescence, having already administered my Standard Oxygenating Wellness Formula to dozens of neurasthenically affected ladies.

While there, we founded the Young Ladies Hygiene Alert League, which managed to test, document, and graph the blood types of every student and faculty member. We were truly pioneers in this arena; no other league comprised of women in secondary school seeking to improve overall community health via blood type testing existed at the time. Since then, as I’m sure you’re well aware, many like groups have been established—The Co-Ed Public Health Coalition, Hygienic Knowledge Committee of Battle Creek, and the Campaign for Health Cognizance and Personal Bodily Soundness.