Last evening my dear husband and I had a most fascinating conversation on the subject of biological reproduction. We had been passing a most pleasant evening playing gin rummy in bed when he broached a subject that had obviously been weighing on his mind since our wedding:
Mr. Thoroughgood: My dear Mrs. Thoroughgood, why must you persist in wearing your union suit to bed?
Mrs. Charming Thoroughgood: Why, to prevent unwanted pregnancy, of course!
Mr. Thoroughgood: But there must be less woolen means of birth control!
The thought startled me, my dear husband was right. I raced to my workshed and began mixing herbs. With a feverish determination I worked through the night, calculating, calcinating and carbonating until the light of knowledge was shining down upon me. Dear Readers, I now present to you my Golden Moments Tablets for the Prevention of Unwanted Pregnancy and Venereal Disease, Guaranteed Wool-Free Formula!
My Golden Moments Tablets are not only guaranteed to be 100% wool-free, but are specially designed to give your posterior a temporary added plumpness for your husband's pleasure. Available for immediate purchase! $1 for a bedside tin of 12 Tablets. $1.50 for 2.
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