Hope for Those Suffering Unfortunate Conditions of the Jaw

I cannot count how many people I've encountered within the last month desperately seeking a cure for lockjaw. I have not had time to develop a superior one myself, but until I do, you may follow this recipe:

Bensonhauer's Jaw Cure and Prevention Cream

Acid, citric 43 per cent (may substitute strychnin at 32 per cent)
Black salve 6 per cent
volatile solids 3 per cent
extractive of bladderwrack .9 per cent
generic gums .2 percent

Effectively treats and prevents lockjaw, phossy jaw, jaw toxicity, and jaws of death.